Life is all about going through different cycles! 

Hey Pearls, 

I hope you all have been doing well! There has been so much changing in my life since I last blogged. The last time I posted, it was not under the best circumstances. Our son had a mental health emergency, which set me back because it was a situation I would never expect to happen. I wanted to give you all an update, things have improved, and we are slowly but surely getting back to our regular schedule. One thing I learned from that entire situation was to remain as calm as possible through the storms in your life. Do not fret because, after the storm, there is always sunshine! 

On a positive note, I have been going through a life cycle myself. I do not know precisely how to explain it, but it’s a good cycle. Although I have had some bumps in the road, there have not been any detours this month! This month I have focused solely on becoming a better version of myself. What does becoming a better version of yourself looks like for you? A better version of myself means making improvements from the month, week, and day before. March, I allowed people, situations, and circumstances to hold me down. I felt like I was drowning and could not come up for air. There was a point when I just thought, “If not for my children, I would end it all.” Those emotions stem from feeling overwhelmed and not knowing how to release, recover, or realign myself more swiftly. Last month I soaked in depression longer than usual, and it made me feel like a failure because usually, I am resilient and bounce right back. Due to the traumatic month of March, I vowed to realign myself for April. Since then, I have been on this cycle of feeling at peace, spending time with myself, giving myself grace, enjoying doing what I love, and finishing what I started a while ago before the postpartum depression kicked in a few months ago. 

So, what did I finish! I Finished my first E-Book, The Pearl Blog Presents: The Healing Journey Healing & Growing One Day at a Time! I have wanted to finish this book for months because it has been my dream for years to create a guide that helps others start their healing in the ways someone helped me. This E-book defines the healing journey and asks crucial questions that make you think, “Do I have unhealed trauma?” “If so, “How can I heal from this trauma?” or simply “What Healing Techniques are available for me?” My E-book answers all those questions and so much more. Some pages made me cry, like talking about childhood trauma, broken bonds, and unhealthy habits. I was vulnerable, and if you are reading this and thinking maybe I should purchase this e-book… go right ahead because that is a sign that you may need to start your healing journey. 

E-Book early purchases avalible now!

Mental health and healing mean so much to me because starting the healing journey for me was a life-changing experience. Healing has allowed me to be in the room with people who have hurt me. Healing has taught me to love myself and give myself more grace because I deserve it! When you have a mental illness, the healing journey can sometimes be more complicated, and that is another reason I wanted to write this e-book because there are parts that discuss mental illness and how to help yourself through those mental health struggles. Healing is a process, and I am not saying this book will heal you immediately. Still, this book will give you an idea of where you are on your healing journey and what changes are needed to make sure you are improving and prioritizing your mental heal, healing, and growing journey. It is imperative to know that nothing worth having comes easy & that includes having a life of peace. If you have grown up in a tumultuous situation or adulthood, know and understand that it will be a long journey before you have complete peace. The most important thing about healing is staying assertive, taking accountability, and never giving up on yourself. 

If you are reading this right now, I want you to go ahead and take advantage of the early access. You can click this link to purchase my e-book, The Pearl Blog Presents: The Healing Journey Healing & Growing One Day at a Time! My “revamped” Mental Health Tees line is also available. May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I wanted to revamp my t-shirt line. It is the best work I have done. The shirts are of better quality & they have messages on them that I advocate. So, for everyone reading this, get yours before they are all out! I am so excited about the e-book and merchandise!

Healing & Growing Merch now avaliable to purchase!

Working on this helped me gain mental clarity and focus on the days I wanted to give up. April is always hard for me because I unexpectedly lost my dad on April 28, 2018, and I still can not believe he is gone. I dedicated my book to him because I know he’s so proud of his baby girl & because through grief, I found strength I never knew I had! I want to thank all my subscribers and readers for your likes, comments, and sharing of my post. I appreciate it! Please leave reviews and let me know what you think about the e-book and t-shirts! Also, I am still posting daily on the @healingandgrowing_ Instagram page. My Instagram advocate for mental health and the healing journey! So, be sure to check me out! Again, thank you all so much! My heart is so full of gratitude!!

-Michelle 💕

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Hello! I’m super excited about my most recent partnership with SAAVI a Athleisure & everyday lifestyle line that is Lulumelon quality, but more affordable prices! This brand is amazing & fits all shapes and sizes which is why I love it so much! We recently launched on November 1st, I have 2 discount codes to give away! I want one of my subscribers here to get in on the deals from this new drop!

Use Contact button on homepage! 💕

Also if you’re interested in being a brand partner or an affiliate use the contact me on my homepage and I can get you connected! This has been a great opportunity for me & like everything else I wanted to share this with you! There’s no stringent requirements, there’s an free clothing credit, clothing that makes you look & feel good, & a opportunity to invest in YOU! It’s close to the holidays and the perfect time to make some extra income!

Let me know! See y’all Thursday! 💕

💕Update!!!!

👋🏾𝗛𝗲𝘆 𝗛𝗲𝘆 𝗛𝗲𝘆!

𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝗱𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝘆𝘀!
𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗻 𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘆
𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂!

𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜
𝗮𝗺 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗮𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗵. 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝗻𝗲𝘄𝗯𝗼𝗿𝗻 & 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀, 𝗽𝗹𝘂𝘀 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗗𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗬. 𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝘂𝗽.

🤔𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸:
-💰𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗵 𝗽𝗵𝗮𝘀𝗲
-𝗟𝘂𝗹𝘂𝗹𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗻 𝗾𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗱𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁
-𝗕𝗲 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗺𝗯𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗱𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲
𝗽𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹.

  • 𝗪𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲!!
    𝗦𝗼 𝗯𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗼𝗺 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲…𝗜 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗱𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗴𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝗼𝘂𝘀
    𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲.
    𝗦𝗼 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲! 𝗜 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁, 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱
    𝗯𝗲 𝗠𝗘!
    𝗜𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗲 𝗮
    𝗗𝗠 𝗼𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝗬𝗲𝘀! 𝗜 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽
    𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁
    𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻!

The link is on my homepage, the last link! Also, if you want more details use the contact me tab! 💕 (link)http://savvi.com/heal8/shop

Introducing my newest Blessing… “Mj”

Introducing Martin Murray Jr “Mj” August 17, 21 7lbs9oz💙

It is bittersweet to say Mj is out final child, but I would not want it any other way! He’s been the perfect addition to our family!

My pregnancy was hard, but birthing him was challenging as well, along with other traumatizing events that took place after his birth.

Through it all I am doing a lot better physically, and I am working hard everyday to build my mental strength as well!

I just wanted to give an update! I will be blogging about my birth experience and all that has transpired so far! I am thankful for my mother & my husband (the dynamic duo) who have given me around the clock care, love, & support.

Besides the minor stuff, life is good! I can not wait to get the okay to lift 💪🏾 & workout again because excersise is how I stay sane! But I’m excited for my postpartum healing & fitness journey! This is just the beginning! 💕 I will be returning soon! 😉

#postpartum #motherhoodunplugged #postpartumjourney #motherhoodjourney #strongmama #postpartumsupport #postpartumfitness #blessedmama #csectionmama #momof4 #healingjourney #innerstrength #trustyourjourney #selfhealingjourney #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthrecovery #familyfirst #ilovemyfamily #familyiseverything #familyfirst❤️ #newbaby #newbabyboy

Is your sex life really over after childbirth?

Is your sex life really over after childbirth?

Sex after childbirth is a topic that women are ashamed or scared to speak on, and something than men avoid because of their lack of education and being oblivious about the effects that birthing a child have on a woman’s sex life.  Most women who have birthed a child will admit that before birthing children their libido was higher.  Libido is one’s sexual desire! Most women will not admit it, but their libido was more than likely higher before they became a mom. Some women have higher libido during pregnancy because the hormones increase their sexual drive, others are complete opposite and do not have sex their entire pregnancy, and then you have the after-childbirth sex which is a whole different story.

I never enjoyed sex really until I learned my own body inside and out, which is why it was shocking to me when I did not want or need sex anymore after the birth of my first child. After I birthed my oldest son, I never craved sex like I did before I ever gave birth. I went months sometimes without any sexual activity at all because I just did not have the urge.  I struggled with postpartum depression badly, but on top of depression no one warned me how much your body changes. First and foremost, the whole sex after 6 weeks is complete bullshit! Sex after six weeks hurts like heal, and it still hurts after 8 weeks!  It takes time for your body to adjust. Some women may have an episiotomy or other laceration after giving birth and those tears can take more than 6-8 weeks to heal. Through all the changes after birthing a child, men still expect a woman to birth a baby and jump back into the swing of things and that is not realistic at all!

Eventually the goal after childbirth should be to enjoy sex again, and not allow it to become the elephant in the room. What worked for me and my husband is communication. I had a cesarean and those can be very painful. We found other ways to be intimate. Sex is basically intimacy that keeps you and your significant other connected. If you are still healing, then think of other forms of intimacy. We would cuddle, have date nights, and if I were not in the mood at times then I would just pleasure him. Getting back into a sexual routine and getting your libido higher will require an open mind and work! I would also suggest quickies (a brief act or instance of having sex), once you have a new baby those quickies become a lifesaver and helps to keep your relationship alive. If you are not completely ready for intercourse yet I want to give you a few pointers to get in the right direction.

Firstly, I am giving advice and am not a MD, or professional in this area. I am only sharing my experiences and my advice! So, let us get to it! If more than 3 months have passed and you have not felt the urge to be intimate after giving birth be sure to make an appointment with your physician because sometimes a lower libido after childbirth can be a medical issue. Your doctor can run an advanced hormone test which will give an extensive e profile of you sex and adrenal hormones and melatonin, along with their metabolites, to identify symptoms if you have any hormonal imbalances. Also, please research and try adding adaptogens into your everyday consumption. Adaptogen herbs helps with stress management and assist the bodies physiological functions response to outside stressors. They do this by lowering the stress levels. When your stress is reduced, your adrenal glands become more balance, and that can significantly boost your sex drive.

In my own personal experience I received pelvic floor therapy because I had a large size baby and it really affected my pelvic structure, and caused me to have pain during sex. Sometimes the lack of wanting sex has a lot to do with your physical body just not being able to. If that is your situation, I suggest you seek medical attention ASAP! Do not be ashamed to seek help from a professional. Another thing that helped me was non-hormonal birth control, and eventually I stopped birth control completely. Birth control can really lower your libido and doctors do not often enough explain this to patients before they start a new birth control. Before you start any birth control please do your research and be sure that you know exactly what you are putting in your body.

After birth it is like your energy is completely depleted and that feeling can last for months at a time. I know for me it lasted awhile. There were times when I had no energy to do anything besides care for my baby. To increase my energy, I started these 20-minute workout sections that I dedicated myself to complete every day. If I could not workout, then I would at least take a walk, or go stand on my balcony at the time for some fresh air and sunlight. The lack of sunlight exposure has been connected to a drop in serotonin levels and lack of serotonin can lead to depression and mood swings. Serotonin is naturally released through working out, and sunlight. The reason I suggest a walk or just standing out for a little sun bath is because you want the happy hormones (serotonin) to improve your mood, which could put you in the mood for some SEX!

Last, but definitely not least to get back to your happy sex place you must first know your own body inside and out. That means self-pleasure is a must. Do not be afraid to embrace your new momBOD! Touch yourself, look in the mirror at yourself, do positive self-talk, and please yourself as often as you may like. You may have to do self-pleasure in the beginning to get back comfortable with having intercourse with your significant other and that is okay. Communicate with you partner always about what you are feeling, what you need, and ask what you can do to make the intimacy between the two of you better? Communication is the most important aspect of a healthy & happy sex life. Sex after childbirth does not have to be non-existence, you are in control of your intimacy, your body, and the outcome of your sex life after childbirth. I have placed a diagram below that gives pointers on rising your libido! I hope this helps! Please comment below or feel free to add your input! You never know who you are helping by sharing your situation or experience!

 

 

 

 

Check out.. Sex is FREEDOM 🌻

Peace & Blessings!

 

 

 

 

 

Sex is FREEDOM 🌻

One of the most uncomfortable topics among a couple is sex. I find that interesting because I have always been incredibly open about my wants and my needs. I am naturally a blunt person, and I found that being blunt about sex would sometimes make men uncomfortable. Women always get the shitty end of the stick when it involves relationships, sex, or simply doing whatever we want to do. If you are a woman that enjoy intimacy and have explored sex, then you may be considered a whore or promiscuous.

I do not like the word whore because what exactly is a whore and  who gave anyone the right to call someone that. There’s a podcast that I enjoy called Whoreible_Decisions, it is an uncut podcast of sex and all of its KINKS from two New York women. The podcast discusses some of the hottest, raciest, rawest sexual topics. In my opinion it is the perfect podcast for a woman that is uncomfortable with sex, do not know how to speak on sex, or simply sexually uneducated. Part of being a woman is knowing and loving your body. Part of loving your body is ensuring that you are being properly pleased in all areas. Do not allow society or men to make you feel insecure or shameful about sex. Sex is one of the most natural experiences in life, and funny enough it is how we all got here! Lol

I was a late bloomer when it came to men, I had some sexual trauma in my childhood and as a young adult, so I seemed to automatically attract to other women. I never really enjoyed sex with men, and I never “got off” sexually with men. In my entire 31 years only 2 men have gotten me to that place. I always was more sexually pleased when I was with women & I am not ashamed to say that today, but I was 3 years ago. My husband and I are the most open couple and I have gone places with him sexually and experienced things with him sexually that no man could go with me simply because he took the time to know, learn, and enjoy all of his woman!

Men are so quick to ask for their penis to be sucked but will not take the time to warm their woman up or discover how to please their woman. Women are like cars, and we need to be warmed up. You can not just jump into sex with a woman without first giving her some foreplay. The issue with many of men is that they want to jump in, and that is why a lot of women are in 10-year relationships and have been faking orgasms the entire time. There are some women so miserable sexually that even if their men are millionaires, they are still out here cheating due to unpleasing sex.

I am all for women empowerment and I am speaking on this because this have been a topic discussed with a few people close to me lately. I always tell my friends that it’s your yoni and you can share it with whom you want, how you, when you want…but just make sure you are being pleasured and not just always giving pleasure. The goal for all women should be to experience an amazing sexual experience, instead of faking one. When I started my journey of learning and knowing what I needed to be pleased it started with experimenting, and simply discovering myself as a woman inside in out and realizing there was nothing to be ashamed about.

If you are a woman that struggles with orgasms, being pleasured, or feeling uncomfortable about enjoying sex I suggest you to check out the Whoreible_Decisions podcast and to also read The Pleasure Gap: American Women & the Unfinished Sexual Revolution written by Katherine Rowland. Both resources are great for women discovering themselves. Whatever you decide, please remember…all girls have a sexual side, but it is up to you and your partner to release the beast. Do not be afraid of experiences, and do not be afraid to voice what you want. You are in control of your body and what it desires. I hope this help you reach places you have never reached before. Please comment below with any feedback!

 

-Toni

 

 

 

 

ThePearlBlog