I’ve shared with you all my struggles with Postpartum Depression & I must admit it has been super hard.
I’ll be taking a Mental Health break so I can regroup & come back better than I am right now!
See you all soon!
I’ve shared with you all my struggles with Postpartum Depression & I must admit it has been super hard.
I’ll be taking a Mental Health break so I can regroup & come back better than I am right now!
See you all soon!
Mental Health Check-In
I can not do this anymore. Why do I feel so alone? I was doing great, what happened? Why am I like this? These are the thoughts that have been crowding my head lately. This is anxiety, this is depression, this is self-doubt and I have struggled with the ups and downs of being mentally great & mentally hurting. Since my diagnosis of Anxiety, PTSD, & Depression I have had good weeks, bad weeks, and even good & bad months. Certain circumstances can cause my mental health to decline… & this pregnancy has been challenging. Pregnancy is a blessing, and I am grateful for the opportunity to bring life into this world for the fourth time, but pregnancy is also mentally, physically, & emotionally draining. Since my last mental health breakdown, I have been proactive in my mental health treatment. Being proactive about my mental health is the most important thing in my life right now. I have attended therapy regularly & I have been transparent with those around me about how I am feeling.
What I am going through at this moment in my life is the reason why I advocate mental health awareness. I know that there are others whose struggles are like mines or maybe even worst and I want you to know that you are not alone in this fight. Being mentally stable can be a fight for some, and I can admit it has been one of my hardest battles in life. Compiling mental illness on top of being a full-time mother, wife, entrepreneur, sister, daughter, aunt, and much more can be overwhelming. On top of my mental struggles, I often feel like I have to save others around me who are struggling and that also interferes with me staying afloat. Right now I just need to stay afloat so that I can get through this pregnancy gracefully. Each day I wake up and take it one day at a time because I know that I have so many people depending on me. Worrying about those who are dependent on me is what makes me tell myself “Do not give up now, you have come too far from where you started from”. I often speak life into myself, because if I did not who would?
This too shall pass is my current mood, and until this storm pass I will just keep my umbrella up and my head high. I have decided to challenge myself to take the time to put myself first mentally, physically, & emotionally right now. I can not allow myself to experience a mental burnout like this again, because being this low is not healthy. The growth in it all is that I can now recognize when I am not okay, and I can accept that it is okay to not be okay! We are all human, and it is so important, to be honest with ourselves. If you are reading this right now I would like to encourage you to have a transparent moment with yourself and ask yourself “Am I okay?” & “How am I doing mentally, emotionally, & physically?”. These are important questions that need to be asked regularly. I am publishing this blog as a mental health check-in and a moment of transparency. I wanted to post this blog as I am going through it because I feel in my soul that there is someone that needed to read this.
July flew by! There are 4 more months left to make a change and do something to better yourself. Think of one mental health goal that you can work on during these last four months. I have some creative projects that I will be working on, I will also be bringing a new life into this world, & my life will be hectic. With all that I have planned before finishing up the year, my #1 priority for the next four months is to put myself first & then let everything else follow! If this blog resonates with you please like, share, or comment! Also, I would appreciate it if you would comment on your #1 mental health goal for the last 4 months of the year.
Hello to all! It has been over a week since I’ve posted & I have been doing well, but my mind has been in a place of manifestation! What does that mean? I’ve been thinking, praying, & planning more than usual. I feel as if I am about to have a breakthrough spiritually, mentally, & physically. At this point I am not quite sure of the cause of this feeling, but something amazing is on the horizon! 🌈
Let me share a secret with you that you may or may not know but MANIFESTATION is real! I was not aware of the power of manifesting six or seven years ago. Since I became aware of the power of manifestation it has truly changed my life! The only difference between manifesting seven years ago & now is that I have different intentions, my mind is mentally in a better place, & I am ready for all the good that comes with manifestation! What I have learned is that you can not manifest your life unless you are ready to change your life & put in the mental work, before physically going after what you want!
Manifesting is a mindset! Manifesting your life will not come into fruition until you are mentally healthy. Seven years ago I was dealing with undiagnosed mental illness, I was being mentally & at times physically abused, & I was physically present but mentally absent! Yes! I said it! I was physically in toxic environment, and I had a toxic mindset. I was manifesting a happy life, I was manifesting breaking generational curses, I was manifesting success for myself & my children . Although I was planning all these things, I was not mentally prepared enough to make any changes or to take any actions!
I’m writing this because I feel it in my spirit that someone who is reading this now is more than likely where I was seven years ago. You are in a mentally bad place, & you’re trying to push through by manifesting all these great things, but it seems like one bad thing after another keeps happening & you just can not catch a break or make any progress towards making your life better. I want you to know that I’ve been there, & I kept asking myself “Why is my life not changing?” “Why am I not doing better?” “Do I have bad luck?”… I asked myself this for an entire year before I made the biggest step of my life!
Let’s just fast forward to the day it all came clear to me! It was June 2014, I was on a Ramstein Germany Airforce base & I told myself “No more!” No more just being physically present, while spiritually & physically broken & unable to live the life I desired & manifested daily! June 2014 I decided to put my mental health first! It sounds so small, but in order to manifest and actually see actions and change you have to be mentally healthy first!
Once I became mentally stable, I was able to better process my thoughts. Being able to process your thoughts & clearly understand what you are feeling, what you need to do, & how to make changes is the biggest key to being able to take the actions to manifest what you truly want! Once your mind is clear, and you have mental strength it’s easier to take actions and create the life you truly want. Remember it will not happen over night! I started off small with little challenges that helped me to reach big goals.
My first step was to get focused on what I wanted, & what was holding me back from what I wanted & needed to improve my life for myself & my two sons! I knew that apart of me being mentally unstable were the people around me, the environment , and the untreated trauma. I made a list of all I people, things, & places I needed to clear from my life, so I could have all those things I prayed for, thought of, & wanted to manifest! I filed for divorced, moved from my comfort zone, started Trauma Recovery Therapy, & no matter how much I hurt, how hard it got, or how many times I wanted to quit… Once I took that first step to improve my mental health I never looked back! I made up my mind, I set goals, I started to take action, & the life I wanted slowly started to manifest into what I had been wanting for years!
Manifesting is a mind thing! And the main reason I support Mental Health Awareness so often, is because I know what being mentally unstable looks like, I know how it holds you back, & keeps you from what you want & need in life! You can not manifest greatness or happiness if you are not mentally okay. No actions can not be taken for improvement without a healthy mindset! It took me over five years from June 2014, before I actually got to the point of manifesting with action & not just planning mentally with no actions behind it!
There is no set time frame on manifesting and creating the life you truly want! There’s no age limit or cap on manifesting! There is an unlimited amount of opportunity out there for you to be great! Start today, start next week, next month, or maybe even next year! But my prayer for you is to place your mental health first & manifest the life you want! Do not let nothing or no one (not even yourself) hold you back! You only have one life to live, get mentally prepared & step into your greatness! Mentally prepare, Manifest, & Master the life you want! You got this!
Comment 3 things you’re manifesting below! I’ll start!
✨Mentally healthy, so I’m able to be the best me for the ones I love the most! (My Family💕)
If this blog resonates with you also checkout:
Also support the The Pearl Blog by commenting, shopping The Positive Mindset T-Shirt Merchandise, & most importantly by reading & finding healing or hope for yourself or by sharing and giving someone else hope! The Goal is to HEAL & GROW!
In all honesty, it seems as though the year 2021 is just passing by. The year started rocky for me. At the beginning of 2021, I was suffering from the worst morning sickness ever, I was in a deep depression due to my health, & I felt completely overwhelmed. My bout of depression lasted until April. The months of March & April are trauma months for me, and sometimes I struggle through. I can be honest and say I struggled. My mood, energy, & spiritual vibrations started to rise and improve in May because I set intentions and I made goals to not allow anything to stop me from what I had planned. Do you know what setting your intentions means? Once I started practicing setting my intentions my new mind frame from May until forever is to set my intentions each month. Setting intentions may sound cliché, but I suggest you research & try it!
First, let us start with the meaning of setting your intentions. To set your intentions you must first be intentional. To be intentional you must act and intend to accomplish your goals through your actions. Setting your intentions is committing yourself. No matter what the commitment may be the goal is committing to whatever journey is needed to accomplish your goals. When you are intentional your focus is on point. Your focus should be on who you are, what you want to do, why you want to do it, & how you will succeed.
Now that you know what it means to set your intentions it is important to know how to set your intentions. Setting your intentions requires you to wake up every day with a set plan so that you know what direction your day is going and do not wake up without direction. Start your day with prayer, meditation, or yoga. If prayer, meditation, or yoga is not your jiff, then wake up and commit to positive vibrations only. How you wake up every morning can determine your entire day, so I suggest waking up with purpose. If you wake up and are struggling, take some time to realign your energy and get back to your original plan. Oftentimes we allow a bad day to turn into a bad week, or a bad month and setting your intentions helps with detouring a prolonged bad day! You must manifest the day, week, month, or year you want! What you intend, is usually what you attract. You have the power to attract positivity or negativity it is your choice!
Since you know that to set your intentions you must first commit, act, & bring in positivity! What intentions are you setting? I usually set my intentions based on mind, body, & spirit. Setting intentions is not about materialism. Setting intentions are about what you intend to change or growing inside and out. For example, if you want to set the intentions for improving your financial situations do not start with just focusing on money, but instead, think of what is mentally holding you back from spending and work on that first! If you are an impulsive spender that buys without thinking, set the goal of not purchasing something without 48 hours to meditate and contemplate on the right decision. If you are dealing with low self-esteem your intention could be to recite positive affirmations for the first five minutes of each day. The goal of setting your intentions is set to see change within your mind, body, and spirit! One thing I have learned through my healing journey is that all healing starts within. Healing does not start outward; you must dig deep inside before you can be successful with setting your intentions.
Trust me I know setting intentions and following through will not be a walk through the park! Setting these intentions and being successful will require accountability. It is important to hold yourself accountable. Holding yourself accountable is making sure you are staying committed to the process and putting in the effort every day! Setting your intentions is not something that will bring change overnight, but if you stay accountable there is an opportunity for you to change your life mentally, physically, & spiritually. Breath, and remind yourself that you can accomplish the goals you want to achieve by setting your intentions and following through. Remember! It is okay to fall off the wagon only if you continue to get up and not stay off the wagon. Setting your intentions will take practice, eventually, you will feel connected with your set intentions and you will also become determined about all intentions you are setting. Today is June 1st, 2021 it is the perfect time to set your intentions for June! If you are shaky about the concept, then start with setting one intention for this month and commit to it. After you feel confident about setting one intention move up and start setting three intentions a month instead of one. Regardless of what you decide for June live in your purpose, and do not allow a week, month, or another year to go by without having a plan! Life is short, and you only have one to live!
If you enjoyed this blog, also check out:
Also, try the following books that helped me with setting intentions:
You’re not your past!
The thing about our past is that it’s not easy to always heal from, but it’s like once you have healed and evolved the people around you starts to bring up who you were in the past, what you used to do, how you used to act, or what you used to allow. It bothers me to my core when someone constantly criticizes me for my past. Evolving is something that I truly believe in because I know for a fact the girl I was ten years ago when I had my first child is not the woman I am today pregnant with my fourth child!
When should you seek therapy?
Therapy is a topic that most recently became popular due to covid and all the mental stress that covid caused on everyone. Before covid I rarely heard therapy being advocated on social media, the news, or among family and friends. I did not even know I was a candidate for therapy because I pre-perceived that therapy was only need if you were suicidal. The idea of therapy made me nervous because the thought of sharing my most personal and hurtful experiences was embarrassing to me. Sadness was a regular feeling for me after the birth of my first son. Being diagnosed with postpartum depression and being told “black folks do not have that” by some of my uneducated peers what my first real experience with seeking help! Now that I am older and have experienced more, I find it important that I advocate mental health awareness and therapy. Therapy is an amazing tool for those dealing emotional distress or just can not figure out life. Often, I am asked, how did I know I needed therapy? And when should you seek help from a therapist?
The American Psychological Association suggests considering therapy when something causes distress and interferes with some part of life, particularly when:
Coming from someone with childhood and adult trauma I believe the proper time for therapy is after you experience something traumatic or know that you have changed but not for the better. Sometimes in life you just feel completely off, and you do not know why. When you are feeling like you do not know yourself it is time to seek help. I advise seeking help before you find yourself in a dark hard and unable to climb yourself out. I know firsthand that it is a scary feeling to ask for help. It is also a scary feeling to know that you have an issue, but not equipped with the tools to handle the issue. “Therapy has been like my bag of tools that I go to when I need to fix something”-Toni Murray. Honesty speaking therapy will not heal you overnight. Therapy takes time to work, and you must remain consistent, or you may not reap all the good benefits of therapy. Also, sometimes you will find a therapist and realize after a couple of visits that the therapist is just not a fit for you. It is okay to change therapist until you find the right fit for you. For example, I have had experiences with male therapist, but due to my past traumas it is hard for me to trust a male therapist or feel completely comfortable. Female therapist has worked out better for me and makes me feel more comfortable, but that does not mean there are not good male therapist out there for you. Do not give up, until you find the perfect fit. I encourage anyone that just need a listening ear to please seek therapy. Therapy can be a life changing experience in a beneficial aspect.
I will list the benefit of therapy that I have experienced below:
Let me know your experiences or lack thereof with therapy? I have listed some other blogs that relates below:
And just like that my life changed……
I can remember it like yesterday, although it has been 8 whole years. I was in my first marriage, 9 months pregnant, & the most unhappy I have ever been in my life. When you are deep into a situation it is hard to see the bigger picture. Any person that has been depressed, abused, or in an unhealthy relationship may describe that time in their life as “a fog”. The dictionary defines a fog as “something that obscures and confuses a situation or someone’s thought processes”. The years 2013-2015 were a fog to me. I can tell you that I reported in my Army uniform to work every day, I graduated from college, I had two children I was caring for, but I was not aware of my true feelings. The marriage was for “show purposes only” I was not loved, supported, or respected. Since I was not receiving love, support, or respect I became this shielded person. I walked around completely numb, and I always had this fake smile on my face to keep my coworkers, family, & friends unaware of what I was suffering through on a regular basis.
A week before my second child was born, I was holding onto a stairway pole with a death grip because my then husband was attempting to push me down the stairs. I was screaming over and over “what about the baby?” with no avail at all I was still being pushed. This incident was not the first time & unfortunately for me it would not be the last time. I would never involve my family in our problems but on this night in particular I was so afraid I called my mother and begged for her help. My mother was the only person in my family that was aware of the abuse, & she promised me she would never tell or call the police because I was threatened to have my children removed from my home by law enforcement before. Law enforcement would come to the house when I would call & tell me about all the resources available for me & say “just leave!”. What no one never understood is that leaving was the hardest part.
Leaving is the hardest part. Why is leaving hard? To leave a toxic situation you must first have CONFIDENCE! I was often beaten down verbally, so I lacked confidence and self-esteem. Beautiful was not in my vocabulary, never felt like I mattered, and I never felt like I was enough. I can admit now that I had become co-dependent, and I was in the cycle of abuse, love, sorry, separate, makeup, & things improving. Then back through the same cycle all over again. Did I think of how I could leave this man yes, but I never would actually leave longer than a month. Even when he cheated on me on a regular basis, I still would make excuses for him and blame myself. The young twenty-four-year-old me thought I could change him, or that he would change if I did better as his wife. He never changed and he never made me and our kids his number one priority. This marriage scarred me so deeply inside and I was so broken that I contemplated suicide just to get out of the toxicity. Before I met him, I was a happy & free-spirited individual that lived life to the fullest. I lost all of myself in him.
When I look back today, I know exactly when I decided I was done, and nothing or no one could stop me from going. March 2014 my grandma passed, and I also was deployed to Afghanistan. Afghanistan was the best thing to happen to me…. sounds crazy right? I was in a combat zone, but it was the first time I felt safe, the first time I felt free, and the first time I realized what I had allowed to happen to me over the las five years. While in Afghanistan I started to think of my exit plan. Although my life was on the line every day, I was still very aware that if I survived this deployment I did not want to go back home to another war. My tour in Afghanistan ended earlier than I expected, and I was thrown back into the lion’s den. My ex had changed while I was gone, he showed me a different side as if he had changed his behaviors, which led us into living together again with our children…only for me to discover that he had not changed at all.
We stayed together seven months after I returned from that deployment. I was mentally, physically, & emotionally burnt-out. I had physical injuries from my deployment, but I also had some deep mental scars that I needed help with. Mentally I was a complete wreck, so my first step was to ensure I stayed in therapy. I participated in trauma recovery therapy every week during those seven months and slowly but surely my mind, my confidence, my courage, & my will power began to grow immensely. When I started to look in the mirror, I seen a woman I did not recognize, someone that I was not before I boarded that flight to Bagram, Afghanistan. My first step to leaving was to have all my financials in order. I started stashing back extra funds, I placed my kids in permanent childcare, and I found a divorce lawyer. Through out this entire process I acted as if nothing was different, and I prepared to go to war again. March 2015, I had him served with divorce papers, and at this point my mind was completely made up. My mind was set, and I was not afraid of what could happen next. I had informed my company commander of everything that was transpiring, and I had support of friends and family, which made the process easier for me and my two boys. My ex-husband did not want the divorce, & he attempted on many occasions to convince me I was not sure. Not even three weeks after I had filed, he had moved into a place with one of the women he was cheating with throughout the marriage…& it was then I knew I had made the best decision for me & my children!
Currently I am retired from the Army, and although my life in not perfect, I am happy & genuinely free. As for my ex-husband he and I share the boys. He currently has visitation rights with some restrictions, and I can say now that he is still the narcissistic man I was married to, but it does not directly affect me as much because now I am confident, respected, loved, & practically fearless. I have remarried an amazing man that loves me & accepted my boys as his own. My husband and I have a daughter & currently we are expecting our baby boy Mj! My marriage is not perfect, but my relationship is not toxic, and I enjoy that. I am still guarded but in a good way. Since my experience I am now aware of who I am. No one can change my perspective of myself regardless of what they say or how they feel. The confidence I have today is unmatched and can not be touched. The hardest part used to be that I had to share my boys with someone who hurt immensely. Therapy has allowed me to separate the relationship him and I had from the relationship that my boys needed with their father. There are days my boys ask why their dad and I are divorced, and I have not given them a complete honest answer, instead I say mommy and daddy grew apart and decided to move on. One day when the boys are older and understand life more, I will have that conversation with them. For now, I just want my boys to enjoy life, and figure out who people are on their own through their actions.
As for me, I currently run The Pearl Blog, which I started as a place to share my life experiences. I have experienced so much trauma in my short thirty-one years of life. Sharing my trauma, giving life advice, and revealing how I got through it is my purpose now. My goal in life is to help anyone who have experienced trauma or is experiencing trauma. I want all who are hurting to know there can be healing after hurting, and you can grow strength & learn through your life trauma. Trauma does not have to be the end of your life. There is healing and growing after trauma. You can follow my Instagram page @healingandgrowing_ to see how I am healing and growing through my own personal trauma. You can also shop The Pearl Blog merchandise, which was inspired by my life trauma and experiences.
If this blog helped you at all, I also suggest the following:
Tomorrow we enter into to April 2021, & since April of 2018 when I lost my father I have always experienced what I call “April Blues” . The entire month of April I usually feel fatigued, sad, depressed, discouraged, & angry because I feel like a piece of me is missing here on earth and I want him back! My father was a funny man. He was the type of guy to walk in a room and immediately make you laugh because he would say a random of the wall joke! When I lost him my first thought was why now? Why right now when we have built a bond, he has changed his life, and my babies know & love their Papa! So, every April since then I would sit in sorrow & grief and just not allow myself to enjoy the life that I still had to live. This year I will be 32, and I guess you can say I have grown mentally, spiritually, & emotionally because I do not want to sit in sadness & grief this April! This April I will be following the theme of “A healing April” So how will I focus on healing instead of grief and sorrow in April? Let me tell you!
Firstly, I am one of the most open and authentic people ever. I am open about my life, and I am transparent because I know there is someone experiencing the exact same issue. One of my flaws that I am aware of is impulsivity! I have the tendency to act without thinking. Acting without thinking has been one of my flaws since I was a teenager. I am the woman that will send that rude response out of anger, and feel bad five minutes after, or I will make an impulsive purchase that I regret later. Acting on impulse is something I am working on intensively within myself. In the month of April my 1st goal is to stop being impulsive, examine motives carefully with regards of my current circumstances and in regard to others who may be affect by my impulsiveness.
Believe it or not I am one of the most confident women I know, but I also am my biggest critic. I am harder on myself than anyone else around me. Confidence is a topic I preach on, but I am not always confident in myself. Although I have accomplished a lot, I often question if I have done enough? or am I doing enough now? Enjoying the rewards of my work & uplifting myself is my second goal for the month of April. I will encourage myself more and speak prosperity over my life. Speaking prosperity over my life includes rewarding myself, congratulating myself on creating resources that will allow me to reach goals for my future, and allow myself to enjoy those small accomplishments and all the little things in life!
I will not allow sorrow to keep me depressed or shut off for a long period of time. Grieving, feeling overwhelmed, or depression are common, but I do not want to experience another month of full sadness. Life is short! There will be sorrow, disappointment, & moments when you feel completely burnt out. Which is why my 3rd and most important goal for the month of April is to avoid becoming trapped in negative thinking. I have accepted my situation, and I know something better will emerge in place of what was lost. Depression has been a struggle for me because I have trauma and I have experienced some major losses, but I want to try something different this year and see how I feel at the end of the month.
Life is hard! It does not matter your circumstances, who you are, or where you are from…We all have troubles, pain, & unspoken issues that we deal with every day. My only hope is that you take some time to reassess and allow yourself room to heal! Healing does not happen overnight. I have remained in trauma recovery therapy for over six years, and I know for certain I am not healed completely, but I am striving to heal every day. I hope you are too! Healing is worth not Hurting! I promise!
If this blog resonates with you, I also suggest you read the following:
Fitness has always been my worst enemy, I never was athletic & when I joined the Army, I initially struggled with the physical fitness testing. Being active was something I did because I had to, not because I wanted to. I did not learn to love working out until after my deployment from Afghanistan. After my deployment I experienced depression, anxiety, mood swings, and PTSD. The doctors and therapist I were appointed to prescribed me medication that caused horrible side effects. I was on the medication for over three months & I noticed improvements with the medications, but I often felt numb like I wanted to cry, but I was not able to. I also would occasionally get stomach cramps or become constipated.
The cramping & discomfort lead me to researching ways to improve my mental health without medication. The first statement to appear mentioned the easing of depression symptoms through exercise. I did not want to run because I loathed running, so I started cycling! I wanted to have a regularly planned schedule of physical activity before I tried to alter my medication because I was advised to not go cold turkey on my medications. The first benefit I noticed from cycling was the high level of energy I had after the fact. After I cycled, I would feel like I could do so much more if I wanted to. My energy would skyrocket after a good cycling session. I started with 4-mile rides, and then progressed to 10 miles rides which was not too much or too little. Staying physically active led to me feeling better inside and once I started it became my routine. Even when I stopped cycling everyday due to physical circumstances, I maintained physical activity with walking, cardio, & strength training.
The exercise that changed my life was yoga! I had never tried yoga before the military. After deployment, my mind would always wonder, and I would overthink about situations that made me upset. I was recommended to try a yoga class. Yoga & physical fitness became my daily dose of medication and I stopped taking 2 out of 3 of my medications and started to feel alive again. I felt good physically, but mentally I was working on staying grounded and focusing on the positives of my life. I personally know from experience how hard life can become when you are mentally, physically, & emotionally burnt-out. Thirty minutes of any type of exercise is highly recommend if you struggle with depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, PTSD, or any mental illnesses. Staying active can help maintain your weight or appearance, but my main reason for working out is the psychological benefits. I must maintain my physical activity for my mental health. It is imperative that I workout out at least 4 days out of the week. If there is a day, I cannot be physically active for whatever reason then I often just meditate in silence or do a quick yoga session to ground my mind and make sure I am mentally ready to start my day.
Fitness of any kind is a lifestyle and a commitment to better yourself. I challenge you to take ahold of your life and give yourself just 30 minutes a day to be physical, and 15 mins a day to just sit in silence…. Your life will be changed! I listed my top 3 mental benefits of exercise below. As always, I hope that you are healing & growing through life’s ups & down.
My top 3 mental benefits of exercise:
Other blog I suggest: https://thepearl.blog/2020/11/10/body-positivity-starts-with-self-%e2%9d%a4/
It has been a while since I shared with you all, but there has been a message on my heart, and I would like to say to you “Now is Not the Time to Give Up”!
Life was hard before the pandemic. Before the pandemic there was depression, toxic relationships, stressed mothers, unheard or unappreciated dads, work stress, sickness, & everyday life problems… & then 💥BOOM March 2020 comes & all those problems you had has intensified. If we are being completely honest here 2020 was a make it or break it year, and right now in 2021 I am still feeling the pressures of 2020 lagging and it is a constant reminder that life gets hard, sometimes harder than we think we can bear. I just want to give you some advice just from my own personal experiences. If you have felt like giving up, or recently threw in the towel and said, “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!” I want you to reevaluate that decision because right now is not the time to give up. I promise that you have so much fight left in you. I know firsthand it is easier said than done, & I want to give some vital advice on how to keep going when you feel like giving up: