I’m Struggling, What’s Next?

Hey Pearls! 

So, Thursday has passed, and my weekly blog was not posted because what I originally planned to post is not matching my current mood or situation. I have been stuck in this dark place for about two-three weeks. While in this dark place I have worked out, meditated, spoke with my therapist, & been proactive with my mental health and although I have prioritized my mental health nothing and I mean nothing has been able to help me! So, what should you do when you have tried everything to help yourself & nothing is working? 

Firstly, if you are struggling in life and nothing is helping to improve your suffering then it is time to make some adjustments. Often, we become accustomed to our everyday routine, and the idea of changing our everyday routine can be scary. If you are waking up every morning and ending every day unhappy it is time to make some major changes in your everyday routine. Did you know changing your routine can bring you happiness and make you feel more confident while getting through your day? Keeping the same routine keeps you from progressing. Deciding to break your everyday routine and changing up your normal schedule can be rewarding and bring a new level of happiness into your life. Believe it or not changing your routine will assist in feeling less burnt out, exhausted, or mentally overwhelmed. Change is necessary and I realize I am lacking in that department. I have become so used to my everyday schedule, but obviously my usual routine is not working, and I am left feeling burnt out, exhausted, and mentally overwhelmed. Starting Monday, I will be making some major changes in my day-to-day life. One problem I have is attempting to complete too much in one day. After my morning meditation and workout, I have decided to only complete 1-3 other task throughout the day and allow myself time to “be still”! Along with being still, I have also decided to rest or do light work when the children are napping because it helps prevent the feeling of being overwhelmed once they wake up. Wanting to get things done is great but think about creating a short task list each day with 1-4 task and having different task each day so responsibilities are split and there is no stress to complete everything in one day. So, first thing first, we must change our day-to day routine if it is not working in our favor. 

Secondly, check your ego! You are probably thinking what does ego has to do with this? Well, ego interferes with life running smoothly. Ego causes extra stress, confusion, and unnecessary disagreements. Ego also causes irritable moods and makes it hard to keep your life on track. For example, I often attempt to do everything on my own. My husband is the most amazing man I have ever encountered, and he supports me in everything, but I often deny help from him. Once I deny his help, I find myself getting angry at him when I start to have “too much on my plate” My ego tells me 

“You got this, and you do not need his help”! My ego tells me “He is to blame, because he is not here during the day to help carry the load”. My ego tells me “It is all about me, I am the one that just gave birth to a baby”. Although my ego tells me those things, I know in reality my husband is not to blame for my burnout, exhaustion, or mental state. I cannot blame him. Being burnt out is one thing but add ego into it and that is a deadly combination. When you are already tired and not aware of your ego it can lead to bickering between you and loved ones. Allowing your EGO to take charge prevents you from seeing things clearly and assessing the situation or problem objectively. When life is already hard it is important to be able to assess what is happening around you. Not being able to assess situations and work them out causes battles and conflicts between you and those who could be supporting you through the hard times in your life. So, if you are struggling in life and nothing is working; do not allow your ego to step in and push away those who love and support you. Be open to hear advise and other perspectives. Remember ego can cause you to lose touch with your actual reality, so keep the EGO in check! 

Once you have made changes and checked your ego, what should you do next? Think of ways to take care of YOU! What makes you feel good? Does work make you happy? Does shopping make you happy? Does fitness make you happy? Or maybe traveling makes you happy? Sit down and make a list of things that make you happy and start fitting those things into your life. Once you find a routine, support, and things that makes you happy; life will slowly start to get better. It is okay to need support to lighten your load. Maybe you need to delegate task to others. I have decided to start having my older kids to clean their own upstairs instead of me cleaning our upstairs and downstairs. Also, I will now be having one self-care day each week and a self-care weekend once a month. It is important to put yourself first even if you are married, in relationship, a parent, a business owner, or whatever. You are important and you must prioritize your mental and physical health. Tough times, builds tough people. If life does not seem to be improving take the steps to make changes. If you do not make changes in your life, you cannot expect any changes to occur. I have been looking at myself in the mirror hard lately and because of my day to day struggles I wanted to share the changes that I will be making because it may help someone else. Look deeply into yourself and be honest with what you need to be happy. Look at yourself in the mirror today an ask yourself am I okay? Am I happy? Do I need more support? Is my ego in the way? Answer those questions and make the change. Life struggles are temporary, stop focusing on what is not working, and trust that the changes you make will bring you nothing but joy, success, and peace that you deserve.

-Toni

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