Growth Mindset

Growth Mindset

So much has transpired in the last year and since vulnerability is my forte, I must admit that I have been on an emotional rollercoaster this entire month leading up to October 28th, 2021. The featured photo is of me on October 28, 2020. Last year at this time I was in a dark place mentally. Before COVID I struggled mentally, but COVID made my mental illnesses challenging and harder to maintain than usual. Advocating therapy has been my passion for the last six years, and although therapy is great it was not helping me climb out the mental black hole, I was in. The only activity that made me feel better was journaling, fitness, or being creative in some way. The pain I felt at this time last year was something I kept private, and I suffered alone for a long time until I started “The Pearl Blog”.

The Pearl Blog is where I started sharing my life with the world. I believed sharing would be a release. I decided once I released the pain and shared it here then I would not dwell on it any longer. Releasing emotions with pen and paper (blogging) makes my soul feel good. Believe it or not there are so many people scared to speak on their mental health issues, personal life struggles, traumas, or anything that requires vulnerability. This platform was the first place I spoke on my nasty divorce from my first husband, sexual assault trauma, PTSD, domestic violence, motherhood, love, & just my life struggles that I never spoke about unless I was in a therapy session. 

It was imperative that I share because I knew I was not the only one suffering while trying to heal and grow through life. Blogging aka releasing has been healing for me. Healing is not an easy journey and I have started over so many times. What I have learned through the healing process is that it requires a growth mindset. A growth mindset is being optimistic and always knowing that no matter how low you feel or where you are in life there is opportunity for growth if you remain resilient and trust your abilities to progress. Carol Dweck, a lead researcher on the topic of “growth mindset”, states that as humans, we operate in both a fixed and growth mindset. Dweck goes on to provide a definition for both: Fixed Mindset: “In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success—without effort.” (Dweck, 2015)

Growth Mindset: “In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.” (Dweck, 2015)

Growth mindset is how I am here today, instead of where I was last year.  Have I reached my full potential? No. But, have I grown tremendously because I now know and understand that I possess the ability to heal and a resilience that has helped me every time I had to start over. The growth mindset has helped ensure that I do not fall back in the “black hole”. I have grown tremendously and although I am still struggling today, I am not stuck because I am constantly growing. I can admit I was stagnating in a lot of areas in my life and inside there was resentment, anger, bitterness, and pain from the past hindering me. How could I grow into a better version of me if I did not decide to grow? I had no choice but to grow into a better version of myself. The person I am today would not recognize the person I was last year. Take a moment and read some of my first blog post and you can see how I progressed. The purpose of sharing my experiences here is to help someone else that may be feeling like I was last year. Helping someone else who may be suffering alone makes me feel like I am doing my part and putting positivity back into the universe.

 I am one of the most introverted/ private people in this world, but after sharing here and only getting positive feedback I realized my potential. The Pearl Blog gave me a freedom and feeling I never had. If you would like to see more of my growth, check out my Instagram page which is linked on my homepage. Also, feel free to use the contact me tab and let me know if there are certain topics you would like me to share more. Additionally, if you are a woman that struggles with mental health, body positivity, shyness, relationship issues, motherhood, or just need to be encouraged and heard then my Facebook Group would be perfect for you (links on “Meet Toni”). I mentioned on my last post I will be posting about different topics every other Thursday to receive alerts you must be subscribed to The Pearl Blog. To all of my subscribers Thank You! I have received nothing but great feedback. The support is appreciated. I hope that you all are healing and remember that in order to heal we must “grow”! No matter where you are in life there is always room for growth & healing. 

  • -Toni 

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