Tomorrow we enter into to April 2021, & since April of 2018 when I lost my father I have always experienced what I call “April Blues” . The entire month of April I usually feel fatigued, sad, depressed, discouraged, & angry because I feel like a piece of me is missing here on earth and I want him back! My father was a funny man. He was the type of guy to walk in a room and immediately make you laugh because he would say a random of the wall joke! When I lost him my first thought was why now? Why right now when we have built a bond, he has changed his life, and my babies know & love their Papa! So, every April since then I would sit in sorrow & grief and just not allow myself to enjoy the life that I still had to live. This year I will be 32, and I guess you can say I have grown mentally, spiritually, & emotionally because I do not want to sit in sadness & grief this April! This April I will be following the theme of “A healing April” So how will I focus on healing instead of grief and sorrow in April? Let me tell you!
The 1st issue I will be focused on in the month of April!
Firstly, I am one of the most open and authentic people ever. I am open about my life, and I am transparent because I know there is someone experiencing the exact same issue. One of my flaws that I am aware of is impulsivity! I have the tendency to act without thinking. Acting without thinking has been one of my flaws since I was a teenager. I am the woman that will send that rude response out of anger, and feel bad five minutes after, or I will make an impulsive purchase that I regret later. Acting on impulse is something I am working on intensively within myself. In the month of April my 1st goal is to stop being impulsive, examine motives carefully with regards of my current circumstances and in regard to others who may be affect by my impulsiveness.
The 2nd issue I will be focused on in the month of April!
Believe it or not I am one of the most confident women I know, but I also am my biggest critic. I am harder on myself than anyone else around me. Confidence is a topic I preach on, but I am not always confident in myself. Although I have accomplished a lot, I often question if I have done enough? or am I doing enough now? Enjoying the rewards of my work & uplifting myself is my second goal for the month of April. I will encourage myself more and speak prosperity over my life. Speaking prosperity over my life includes rewarding myself, congratulating myself on creating resources that will allow me to reach goals for my future, and allow myself to enjoy those small accomplishments and all the little things in life!
The 3rd & biggest issue I will be focused on in the month of April!
I will not allow sorrow to keep me depressed or shut off for a long period of time. Grieving, feeling overwhelmed, or depression are common, but I do not want to experience another month of full sadness. Life is short! There will be sorrow, disappointment, & moments when you feel completely burnt out. Which is why my 3rd and most important goal for the month of April is to avoid becoming trapped in negative thinking. I have accepted my situation, and I know something better will emerge in place of what was lost. Depression has been a struggle for me because I have trauma and I have experienced some major losses, but I want to try something different this year and see how I feel at the end of the month.
Life is hard! It does not matter your circumstances, who you are, or where you are from…We all have troubles, pain, & unspoken issues that we deal with every day. My only hope is that you take some time to reassess and allow yourself room to heal! Healing does not happen overnight. I have remained in trauma recovery therapy for over six years, and I know for certain I am not healed completely, but I am striving to heal every day. I hope you are too! Healing is worth not Hurting! I promise!
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