The light at the end of the Tunnel…
Cambridge Dictionary defines the light at the end of the tunnel as “signs of improvement in a situation that has been bad for a long time, or signs that a long and difficult piece of work is almost finished”.
Recently I have discussed the trials that I personally have experienced during the pandemic as well as what I have experienced during the 1st trimester of my fourth pregnancy. I described in my last blog titled “This too Shall Pass” how depression had taken a course on me. Yes, the pandemic has been challenging and, starting around the beginning of November 2020 I began to feel isolated, as if I were sucked into a dark place and I could not escape. I am a mental health awareness advocate, because being a combat veteran, and a sexual abuse survivor I know that mental illness is real and challenging.
I have remained in therapy for over 6 years on & off, and while in trauma recovery therapy I have acquired ways to cope with my own mental illness. I was educated about the tools that I could use when I feel sucked in by darkness. I believed before November 2020, that I was mentally tough & able to conquer anything that comes my way with the tool bag that my therapist had equipped me with. It was not until January of this year that I realized I had been isolated and in darkness since November, and I felt cold, secluded, depressed, and that dark place had become my everyday life. I describe it as “the darkness” because when I start feeling this way, nothing or no one can make me happy. It literally feels like being locked in a dark room, and not being able to get out.
In society today there are rarely mentions of depression, or mental illness and I want anyone reading this who may also deal with “the darkness” that depression causes, to know you are not alone! Struggling with depression triggers you to second guess who you are, and your purpose in life. I had been depression since November until recently I was sitting on the bed in my bedroom, and even with blacked out curtains the sun had seeped through my windowsill and I could see the light from the sun peeping through. It was only a glimpse of light, but when I noticed it, I began to smile, and I realized that God was sending me a personal sign. My higher source was assuring me there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I got up that day and although I was not 100% okay, I had the strength to clean, cook, sing, dance, & smile. I felt like I had been revitalized or brought back from the dead.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. With so much transpiring in the world from politics, injustices, death, and the pandemic the effects of depression are happening to the happiest people. But I want to inform you that depression is not a sign of weakness or a character flaw. Never feel ashamed because depression can literally happen to anyone. Do not allow the depression to win, allow some light into your life. A new you, a happier you, and a happier phase in your life is possible. If you are an someone who deal with depression know that your life has a purpose! You were placed here for a reason. Aligning with your Purpose is not always going to be an easy task, but if you just focus on the small amount of light in your life there is a chance to turn the sadness into happiness, darkness into light, and what feel like the end, into a new beginning. There is also assistance our there if you need it. I have listed resources below that may be helpful. I wish you joy and happiness during this time, and my prayer is that you or I never give up, because there is always light at the end of the tunnel!